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Popular Quotes
Kate: So what happened?
Tony: She broke into my apartment and filled my closet with dog crap.
Kate: Ha! Really? I knew there was a reason I liked her.
Tony: I still have her number. Maybe you two can get together and boil rabbits or something.
Kate: Not my style, Tony. I would just shoot you.
Abby: You’re not listening to a word I’m saying. I’m pregnant, McGee. Twins. Haven’t told the father yet…it’s Gibbs. I know it’s wrong but something about his silver hair just gets me all tingly inside.
Tony: Excuse me for a second, I think I’m gonna vomit.
Abby: I’m joking Tony! Except for the part about Gibbs’ hair. That is really hot. McGee is ignoring me again.
Tony: Easily fixable. (smacks McGee)
McGee: What?! What I do?
Tony: Stop ignoring Abby, she’s sensitive.
Director Sheppard: I've always admired your way with children. Ever think of having any?
Gibbs: Is that an offer Jen?
Gibbs: Kissing ass on the Hill is a skill!
Director Sheppard: So is castration!
Gibbs: I wear a cup!
Abby: What’s a matter Chip, don't like watchin’ porn with me? Sorry I'm not one of the guys, but I'm doin’ the best I can!!!
Tony: Why are you on top of me?
Ziva: I'm protecting you, Tony.
Tony: Don't.
Ziva: Well you didn't seem to mind when we were undercover.
Tony: That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.
Ziva: I will take a swing at your 6-pack.
Tony: Well, its not really a 6-pack. It's more of a 4 pack, and there's this long stubborn one at the bottom.... never mind. DO IT.
McGee: ...I'm sorry sir. I thought..
Gibbs: to have a thought McGee, you have to THINK. Were you thinking when you walked into that room??
McGee: Um yes sir... I... I think so
Abby: ...It's twice as addictive as heroin, but not quite as addictive as pistachios
McGee: Pistachios?
Abby: Well have you ever had just one pistachio?
McGee: Actually I have. French Fries on the other hand...
Abby: Guess wHy I'm smiling?
Gibbs: Your always happy.
Abby: Well I'm a happy person but I found out our suspect is a mutant!
Kate: I'll give him 5 seconds
Gibbs: before what?
Kate: Before he notices there's a...
DiNozzo: A bikini contest!
Abby: Dogs don't kill people. People kill people.
People with dogs that kill people kill people.
McGee: I have to tell Gibbs something.
Abby: Tell him you love him, it always works for me.
Gibbs: Not always.
Gibbs: What about his prints?
Abby: I compared them to the prints that Tony and McGee got from the restroom... they didn’t jive.
McGee: We must of lifted hundreds of prints... you sure you ran them all??
Abby: No McGee... about mid-way through I got tired so I was just like, screw it!!
McGee: Just thought I'd check.
Abby: Where's the tape?
Gibbs: On it's way to your lab.
Abby: so am I.. Hey do you think if Ifinish early I can go back to habitat for humanity I'm doing a bunch of wiring for them this weekend...
Gibbs: Maybe...
Abby: Yes sir! (Salutes with left hand)
Gibbs: Wrong hand Abbs...
Abby: Sorry Sir
Gibbs: Don't call me sir
Abby: Yes ma'am
McGee: You read my mind, boss.
Tony: It's an easy read.
McGee: What was it like?
Tony: Sex? Losing your virginity? It was good.
McGee: Pretending to be someone else?
Tony: I wouldn't know, Elf Lord.
McGee: Wonder what I'd do if I lost my eyesight.
Ziva: You'd adapt.
McGee: What if I didn't?
Ziva: You'd fall into a deep depression and probably kill yourself.
McGee: Remind me not to come to you for advice.
Gibbs: Don't make me start smacking you like I do DiNozzo, Abby.
Abby: You wouldn't hit me would you Gibb's?
Gibbs: I didn't say it would be on the head Abbs.
DiNozzo: Do we know what this guy was in for?
Gibbs: Same thing I'm gonna be if you don't get your ass moving.
DiNozzo: Right ... murder.
Gibbs: Tony this place looks like your apartment.
Tony: Boss I have a maid now.
Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
Tony: Ya its amazing what you can afford without three ex-wives.
Ziva: Can you arrest God, Tony?
Tony: That would be like Thing bringing in the Hulk
Tony (about Gibbs): He patted my back.
McGee (about Gibbs): He called me Tim... It was rather nice
Tony: >Nice? I don't want nice. It’s not Gibbs if he's nice.
Gibbs: Stick with him, Ziva.
Ziva: Like tattoos on Abby.
